The Conversation You Never Knew You Needed

For a long time, I thought I had to figure everything out on my own. That’s what we’re taught, isn’t it? Keep going, don’t complain, be the one people rely on. The message is clear—handle it yourself.

And I did. Until I realised something. Carrying it all alone isn’t strength. It’s just exhausting.

The Weight of Silence

I don’t think we realise how much we hold in until it starts to spill over. Maybe it’s in the form of stress that won’t shift, anger that comes out of nowhere, or just a numbness that makes everything feel flat. You tell yourself you’re fine. You push through. You don’t talk about it, because where would you even start?

And then one day, maybe in the middle of a conversation you weren’t expecting, you hear someone else say something that sounds a little too familiar. And suddenly, you realise you’re not alone in how you feel.

I read an article recently about men’s support groups and how they’re changing lives. And it hit me—how many of us go through life without ever experiencing a space where we can just be real? No front, no pretending we’ve got it all together, no pressure to have the answers. Just honesty. Just being heard.

But for a lot of men, that idea feels completely foreign.

Why Is It So Hard to Talk?

I get it. I’ve been there. That voice in your head saying, Do I belong here? What if I don’t know what to say? What if this isn’t for me? The idea of sitting in a room full of men and talking about what’s really going on inside? It’s not exactly what most of us grew up believing we should do.

We’ve been conditioned to think we have to be strong, independent, capable of sorting things out ourselves. So we stay silent. We tell ourselves we should just get on with it.

But here’s what I’ve learned—doing it alone isn’t working. The rates of suicide, addiction, depression, burnout… they tell a story. And that story is of men struggling in silence because they believe they have to.

The Power of Being Heard

Every week, I see what happens when men step into spaces where they can talk without judgement. At Directions for Men, where I facilitate men’s groups, and at Andy’s Man Club, where I attend as a participant, I witness the shift that happens when men let their guard down for the first time.

These groups aren’t therapy. No one is there to fix you. No one is telling you what you should do. It’s just a space. A space to talk, to listen, to realise you’re not the only one feeling what you’re feeling.

And that alone can change everything.

Most men who walk into a group for the first time don’t say much. They sit back, they listen, they take it in. And that’s okay. Because what they start to realise is that they belong there, just as much as anyone else. That they don’t have to have the perfect words. That they’re not expected to solve everything in one night. That just showing up is enough.

And by the end of that session, they know something they didn’t know before—they’re not alone.

You’re Not Broken

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that struggling means we’re failing. That feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected means there’s something wrong with us.

But there’s nothing to fix about you. You’re not broken. You just need the right space to be heard.

If you’ve never sat in a room where you can just be you, without judgement, without pressure—you’re missing out on something powerful.

If you’ve ever thought about joining a men’s group but held back, I get it. But I also know what’s possible when you step into that space for the first time. If you’re ready to have the conversation you never knew you needed, you’ll find you’re not alone.

If you want to know more about Directions for Men, Andy’s Man Club, or the work I do, get in touch. Let’s talk.